Sebelum Engkau Halal Bagiku...♥

Ya Allah...
Andainya telah Engkau catatkan...
Dia milikku tercipta buatku...
Satukanlah hatinya dgn hatiku...
Titipkanlah kebahagiaan antara kami...
Agar kemesraan itu abadi...

Tetapi Ya Allah...
Andainya telah Engkau takdirkan Dia bukan milikku...
Tidak tercipta buatku...
Bawalah dia jauh daripada pandangan ku...
Luputkanlah dia dari ingatanku...
Dan peliharalah aku dari kekecewaan...

Hanya kepada Mu aku berserah ya Allah...
InsyaAllah... Amiiinn ya rabal alaminn....

bilaaa hati berbicaraaaaa sendiriiii....

When we have someone that we care too much,

mesti kita nak jaga hati dia. jaga perasaan dia. cuba faham dia. kita kawal perasaan cemburu kita. kita akan tanya dia jika kita takut salah faham dan kita cuba untuk tidak tuduh sembarangan. kita akan cuba nasihat dia. bagi semangat kat dia. tolong sama-sama selesaikan masalah dia. sentiasa doakan kesejahteraan dia. ingatkan dia jangan tinggal solat. jangan buat dia risau. bersabar dengan dia walaupun dia tak faham kita. walau macam mana dia marah kita sekalipun kita tetap sayang dia :) semua yang kita buat tu ikhlas bukan terpaksa.

Tapi,

dia terlalu risaukan kita sampai kalau tak text sekejap pun dia merajuk. banyak salah faham sebab kita jauh dari dia atau mungkin sebenarnya dia tak percayakan kita. dia tahu apa yang kita suka, tapi dia tak faham pun situasi kita. dia selalu sangat share atau mengadu apa yang dia rasa dengan social networking, kadang-kadang kita tak tahu langsung apa pun yang dia rasa. kita ada kawan yang selalu tolong kita kalau kita ada masalah dengan dia. kita selalu cerita kat kawan kita yang kita rindu dia sampai kawan kita dah bosan dah dengar. tapi dia salah faham :( hal kecil pun dia ambil kira. cepat sangat terasa. sebab tu kita banyak bersabar dengan dia. kita cuba pujuk dia perlahan-lahan sampai dia okay. tapi kita tak putus asa. kita pun banyak salah. tapi kita harap awak sedar lah yang kita sentiasa risau pasal awak. :)

no idea... :(

I have no reason why I have to remember every single fact about him... should i???? he has someone better than you lar sayangku amirah athirah....she is perfect than you are... sudah lar wahai Amirah Athirah.....back to old Amirah Athirah...pleaaaaseee ignore the 'resistance'...mentang2 bljr electric skrg... :) 

i just wanna cry.. 

Empty and no happiness whatsoever. I don't want to laugh, because I know it's not going to help, but I don't want to cry, because it will just make I feel worse. I feel like my heart is falling apart, but not only that, but I know soon my life is going to feel like it's falling apart too. I don't think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to me, it feels impossible to stop loving the 'resistance'. 


And everyone wonders why if the 'resistance' have hurt me so much, then why do I still love him. That's the confusing part, I don't know why, I just do, and the people who hurt me the most, and normally the ones I love the most. And then, after a few weeks, I finally feel a sense of relief, like I'm getting happy again, but I know inside that I'm just going into denial. 


And after a few more weeks, i'm back to where I were an empty soul and teary eyes. I thought I got over the 'resistance', but really, I just stopped showing it. And I can't help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on my heart that are there forever. And no one understands how I feel, and how deep I am hurt, no matter who the 'resistance' are, because it hasn't happened to him And even if it has, every broken heart is different. the 'resistance' don't know the true pain that I feel and carry each and everyday now, so I learn that basically I am alone with all this. 


And the feeling starts to overwhelm me, and suddenly I just break down, right there, because I know I have had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and I am to the point where I don't care who see's. Because I have spent so many nights lying awake in bed. And in the midst of all these tears, I know that its not helping any, and it's not going to bring him back, if I ever even had him in the first place. 


After about a million tears have been cried, I finally pull myself back together and keep going. My throat starts to clench and my eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says, "It will be okay…” But I know it won't. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And I look back on all of the hurt I had from this, and I realize that people are horrible. I am still hurt, but I have learned to hide it so that everyone thinks I am okay. 


So now every time I see that 'resistance', I know I still love him, and I feel a slight tingle in my heart yearning for him to love me, screaming out, but for some reason the 'resistance' don't hear it. And then I sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this...

finally...burst into tears... 

memoriess.... :(

On a quiet night when I'm alone,
I think of you until break of dawn
I miss your face, I miss your smile
I haven't seen it in a while

I close my eyes so I can see
The memories of you and me
The love and laughs that we have shared
And all the times that you have spared

Then a surge of sadness from within
Can't stop the tears from rushing in
I miss the way you hold me tight
How I wish you are with me tonight

Then I start to feel this pain inside
And no matter what I cannot hide
I always try, but I always fail
Can't help myself, my heart is frail